Its been four days. sigh, i haven't been able to hug anyone for this pass few days. yes yess, i'm corny, so what?
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Exams are finally over. I'm free for the time being. I'm honestly so very exhausted. and the damn flu isn't going away.
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Went to the gym with my sister last night, and i had fun at the gym. haha, and when we were on the home, we were like mad cows singing at the top of our lungs. i really enjoyed myself singing so loud yesterday. all stress gone. awesome. =)
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I miss you.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
good luck and a fullstop
Ever looked at your phone repeatively hoping a message will come in. And when it finally rings, it just isn't the person you want it to be. Waiting this way can be quite torturing. Especially when you know nothing will come anything soon but deep inside you there's still that tiny bit of hope. Denial can take the best of us sometimes. sigh, call me pethatic but i miss you, which honestly now, makes me angry at you.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Chan Meng Kit
dearest you,
.
I really have to be honest with you about something, I am seriously not ok with the fact that you're blogging about my post. Who are you to take pictures of my blog and blog it as your own? First, i dont even know who the heck you are. Secondly, Wye Yee is my close friend, and i do not wish for people to disturb her in any sort of way. She's been though enough, and she doesn't need someone like you to upset her because I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE NOT WORTH IT! Stop making up stories about the 5 of us. We do not know you, we do not ever want to know you. All the bullshit crap you wrote about us, like this..
A few hours until afternoon, the telephone rings, one of my adjutant officer of 54th Infantry Regiment, Ku Gan-dong, pick up the phone. When he say, "Hello, this is Chan's residence, how can I help you". But at this moment, there is a big shock. When me and my friends having do nothing, Gan-dong open the door quickly, "There is a big emergency". It really happens to become weird. "Wye Yee is struck at the hospital", WTF...heckering is going on. I can't believe it. He said, "She was laying at the Tung Shin Hospital, would you like to pay a visit." All says is Yes but who is the one calling that know about she is laying in the hospital. We've to find out.After 30 mins driving to the hospital. We've move to the counter to ask where is she. Suddenly, someone calling me, its Raymond, the closest friend to her but he is a spy of Diangxi (he's looks like a Chinese but British citizens). I tell him whats going on but he wants to follow me and my friends to guide to the patient room. What the heck is going on next.When reaching the 4th floor, we move to the no. 406 room. Before arriving the room, Raymond told me that, "Well, listen to the decoder receiver, my friend is going to receive a sound to you". We agree but not enter the room. Raymond press the button and listen the message where his friend manage to decoded it. We saw there is Raymond's friend talking to Celine, Chairmane and Carmen and Wye Yee's father. The conversation is begin:
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Raymond's friend: So she is should be ok.
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Carmen: Yeah, what a relieve. But the doctor said she needs for receive further inspection. So she has to stay in hospital for 4 days. I'm so sorry. We have a ballerina competition in the next 2 days.
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Raymond's friend: Well, no need to say sorry. We did much to have a concerning about this.
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Wye Yee's father: May I know what is your name. (Speaking to Raymond's friend)
...
i'm not even gonna continue about what else he said ok!
HELLO!! Wye yee never went to the hospital, we never had a ballet conpetition. Come on, if you want to lie, make up a better one. Stop bugging Wye Yee, stop stalking her. i want you out of her life, i dont want you bloggin about her anymore, i dont want you mentioning her name anymore, and i dont want you to know anything about her. she has her life to live ok, and she's happy WITHOUT you in it. so leave her alone. because if you dont, i swear i'll make things turn over. JUST STOP LYING ABOUT KNOWING US. STOP LYING THAT YOU KNOW ME, STOP BUGGING WYE YEE!!
.
I really have to be honest with you about something, I am seriously not ok with the fact that you're blogging about my post. Who are you to take pictures of my blog and blog it as your own? First, i dont even know who the heck you are. Secondly, Wye Yee is my close friend, and i do not wish for people to disturb her in any sort of way. She's been though enough, and she doesn't need someone like you to upset her because I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE NOT WORTH IT! Stop making up stories about the 5 of us. We do not know you, we do not ever want to know you. All the bullshit crap you wrote about us, like this..
A few hours until afternoon, the telephone rings, one of my adjutant officer of 54th Infantry Regiment, Ku Gan-dong, pick up the phone. When he say, "Hello, this is Chan's residence, how can I help you". But at this moment, there is a big shock. When me and my friends having do nothing, Gan-dong open the door quickly, "There is a big emergency". It really happens to become weird. "Wye Yee is struck at the hospital", WTF...heckering is going on. I can't believe it. He said, "She was laying at the Tung Shin Hospital, would you like to pay a visit." All says is Yes but who is the one calling that know about she is laying in the hospital. We've to find out.After 30 mins driving to the hospital. We've move to the counter to ask where is she. Suddenly, someone calling me, its Raymond, the closest friend to her but he is a spy of Diangxi (he's looks like a Chinese but British citizens). I tell him whats going on but he wants to follow me and my friends to guide to the patient room. What the heck is going on next.When reaching the 4th floor, we move to the no. 406 room. Before arriving the room, Raymond told me that, "Well, listen to the decoder receiver, my friend is going to receive a sound to you". We agree but not enter the room. Raymond press the button and listen the message where his friend manage to decoded it. We saw there is Raymond's friend talking to Celine, Chairmane and Carmen and Wye Yee's father. The conversation is begin:
.
Raymond's friend: So she is should be ok.
.
Carmen: Yeah, what a relieve. But the doctor said she needs for receive further inspection. So she has to stay in hospital for 4 days. I'm so sorry. We have a ballerina competition in the next 2 days.
.
Raymond's friend: Well, no need to say sorry. We did much to have a concerning about this.
.
Wye Yee's father: May I know what is your name. (Speaking to Raymond's friend)
...
i'm not even gonna continue about what else he said ok!
HELLO!! Wye yee never went to the hospital, we never had a ballet conpetition. Come on, if you want to lie, make up a better one. Stop bugging Wye Yee, stop stalking her. i want you out of her life, i dont want you bloggin about her anymore, i dont want you mentioning her name anymore, and i dont want you to know anything about her. she has her life to live ok, and she's happy WITHOUT you in it. so leave her alone. because if you dont, i swear i'll make things turn over. JUST STOP LYING ABOUT KNOWING US. STOP LYING THAT YOU KNOW ME, STOP BUGGING WYE YEE!!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
happy 2nd anniversary

Baby,
It felt like it was just yesterday I met you at training hall. And i remember clearly how everything was during then, what I went through to get your number. I guess it became joke of the year to many people there huh? it happened to years back and people are still laughing about it now. Thinking back from the day i meet you till this very second makes me feel as though I am helpless towards time. Everything is passing by so fast. I've been through 2christmas with you, and this coming one will be there 3rd. I've been through 2 chinese new years with you, coming will be the 3rd as well. 2birthdays each. and yesterday, our 2nd year anniversary.
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Well, i guess two years isn't a long time compared to others. Long way to go baby, we'll make it worth while, i assure you. We've been through our ups and downs, and when i say downs, I really mean all the shit we've been through together. I want to apologize for the times i've hurt you and times i've caused you pain. I remember you telling me once, *pain doesn't hurt as much when i feel it, but pain hurts when i know i'm hurting you* so baby, ditto! I will never forget this, and the many other things you've done.
Well, i guess two years isn't a long time compared to others. Long way to go baby, we'll make it worth while, i assure you. We've been through our ups and downs, and when i say downs, I really mean all the shit we've been through together. I want to apologize for the times i've hurt you and times i've caused you pain. I remember you telling me once, *pain doesn't hurt as much when i feel it, but pain hurts when i know i'm hurting you* so baby, ditto! I will never forget this, and the many other things you've done.
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The thing that never fails to make me smile, the most satisfying, and rewarding sensation that I cant bring down to words is how I have watch you grow from a boy to the man you are today. So much so I am proud to reach up to the top of the world and tell everyone that my boyfriend is Joey Seok and I am not ashame of it. Baby, you know you have the potential to improve everything more. Perfection is when you've done your best, YOUR 100%.
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I love you. For always.
Carmen
Saturday, December 5, 2009
PMS
I KNOW i'm pms-ing, so i'm already controlling my mood, for those who I let my temper out on Forgive me. But for some others, I AM NOT SORRY. even if i know i'm pmsing, i dont get angry for no freaking reason. Firstly, I do not understand why people do not like sharing. HELLO, ever heard of sharing is caring? Ok, yea, maybe we're selfish to some extend, but when it's selfish over food?? i mean, COME ON!! ITS FOOD?!! So what if its super expensive, offer people arond you anyways because if you dont, its rude. And if you do know that you dont have for people around you, dont go taking it out eating it in front of everyone. and yes, maybe you might be super hungry, to hell, even if you're having a slice of bread, pinch some out for others, or at least OFFER!! I dont wanna brag about myself and stuff, but I will ALWAYS offer people or I will get another for people around me. Becoming selfish (to a certain extend) for things like work, studies and maybe sometimes with the person you love (not wanting to share him or her with anyone else) that i can understand, BUT ITS FOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! (my sister's are like this, but only among 3 of us, at least my 9 year old sister knows her manners in public).
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I'm feeling so tired right now. I danced in the gym yesterday, and I went for class this morning. Left my bag at home and realise i didn't take it with me at 12.30 itself. had to turn back after leaving celine's house (wanted to see her cat). Miss Mak made us do some fsh jump thing with OMG, my back hurts like crap now. and i thinki pulled the muscles in my boobs! (if we eve have muscles there).
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HELP SUCKS BIG TIME!!! because of exams are held on the 15th and 16th, I CANT MAKE IT FOR IAG CAMP!!! and the time I cant make it, EVERYONE ELSE DOES!! Joey will be there, Josie will be there! MARK SEOW will be there. Calvin will be there. Amanda's gonna be there. El's gonn be there, AND ITS JIANSHENG'S LAST TIME IN CAMP!!! and of course TONG TIAN JUN!! i'm officially ticked of with the fact that its his last time and he wont be around anymore. (who's gonna save me from lizards now). sigh. I AM DESPERATE TO ATTEND THIS YEAR'S IAG!!! i need a boost!
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my whole body is aching!
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I'm feeling so tired right now. I danced in the gym yesterday, and I went for class this morning. Left my bag at home and realise i didn't take it with me at 12.30 itself. had to turn back after leaving celine's house (wanted to see her cat). Miss Mak made us do some fsh jump thing with OMG, my back hurts like crap now. and i thinki pulled the muscles in my boobs! (if we eve have muscles there).
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HELP SUCKS BIG TIME!!! because of exams are held on the 15th and 16th, I CANT MAKE IT FOR IAG CAMP!!! and the time I cant make it, EVERYONE ELSE DOES!! Joey will be there, Josie will be there! MARK SEOW will be there. Calvin will be there. Amanda's gonna be there. El's gonn be there, AND ITS JIANSHENG'S LAST TIME IN CAMP!!! and of course TONG TIAN JUN!! i'm officially ticked of with the fact that its his last time and he wont be around anymore. (who's gonna save me from lizards now). sigh. I AM DESPERATE TO ATTEND THIS YEAR'S IAG!!! i need a boost!
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my whole body is aching!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
elaine kim nevis
DEAREST love (Elaine Kim Nevis).
.
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- I'm content at this moment
- I'm happy
- I need to start studying for my finals
- Joey and I are great. (its been great)
- I'm missing you
- christmas is coming, MEANS you're coming back. =)
- i'm dieting. hahahahahha.
Yours truely!!
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you
The last line of the verse, means so much. It just covers everything else. I am nothing without you. Yes baby, you.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
recent pictures
-we went to play basketball after coach training, well i didn't play la cause i suck with balls(that sounded wrong, oh well). was playing around with their watches with Nat and Yatze. not sure who's watch is who's but there's Isyrad, Webster, Yatze and Danny's watch. Gary, Tian Jun, Joey and CJ7 was playing as well-baby gave me a rose *seed*
I watched Beautiful Minds during PSY112 today. I honestly do not know how people suffering from schizophenia survive. I'm not trying to diss anyone here, but after watching that show, my heart just broke into two. Watching a movie knowing that IT IS JUST A MOVIE, does not matter so much, but to know that it is based on the true story AND there are people out there who are going through such a hard time this way is just heartbreaking. sigh, I am interested in meeting such people, and whole-heartedly, i do want to help make the whole situation better because seeing people go through this everyday just hurts. But the one weak thing i have is i get so emotional, I WILL DEFINATELY be emotionally tied to the patient. sigh, i'm still thinking about John Nash (he is the guy that suffered from schizophenia). Hats off to him for being such a strong person. I salute Nash because not only he was strong, he gave a whole new perspective to others who are studying personality disorders. Will power IS STRONG ENOUGH to conquer all.
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and ECT is JUST CRUEL!!!!!!! CRUEL I SAY!!! (some sort of therapy that ties patient to the bed, and send in electric currents to charge their brains.) well, yea, some people say that it might help, but like what Rachel Ting says *its like me taking my spoilt music box, banging it against the table, 50% it might start singing again, but hey, 50% it might not* so screw ECT.
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and for those who do not know what schizophenia is, go look it up. Its a form of personality disorder where people have delusion and such. Its quite interesting.
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and ECT is JUST CRUEL!!!!!!! CRUEL I SAY!!! (some sort of therapy that ties patient to the bed, and send in electric currents to charge their brains.) well, yea, some people say that it might help, but like what Rachel Ting says *its like me taking my spoilt music box, banging it against the table, 50% it might start singing again, but hey, 50% it might not* so screw ECT.
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and for those who do not know what schizophenia is, go look it up. Its a form of personality disorder where people have delusion and such. Its quite interesting.
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I CANT WAIT FOR MONDAY!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
change can be good and BAD!
*I need to change myself, i cant be who I am now, he/she doesn't like me being like that*
*I need to learn to be more open-minded*
*I need to learn to accept things i dont believe*
There is only so much we can change. changing for the better is OBVIOUSLY a very good thing. but changing who you are is just not the way things are suppose to flow. If someone falls in love with you for who you are then, ALL THE BETTER. but someone asking you to change *be more matured* *change the way you look* *you have to learn to accept me going out with other girls/guys* seriously?!! everyone will mature up one day, but pushing them to change over night is serious nonsense! I mean, HELLLOOO.. if she's already willing to change, goodness, give her time! and come on, you cant change the way a person looks. didn't you fall for him or her with the way she looks from the very begining? yes, physical appearance does matter to a certain extend, BUT IT ISN'T EVERYTHING!! and the most absurt of all.. learning to accept things that goes against your belief??!! The only reason why guys or girls get upset and jealous about their partner being touched or going out with other friends of the opposite sex is because they care for you!! so dont go expecting that we would learn to accept the fact you're going out with other ppl being all touchy. when we really dont mind anymore, its THEN WE DONT LOVE ANYMORE.
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People irritates me when they tell me they want to change to such servere measures.
pls think if its worth it or not. sometimes, changing yourself for someone who isn't worth it will just destroy yourself
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Changing topic, no one will ever guess where i am right now, and what are the people around me doing. haha. adrenaline rush much!! anyways, I FINSIHED MY CASE STUDY, and turnitin for the VERY FIRST TIME, made my day. haha, well, maybe i'm fasinating myself. but wtv it is, I'M HAPPY! haha.
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Went swimming with Joey, my sisters and sa's friends today. it was hilarious! haha, i have no idea how they think chickens can swim. haha, i wonder what their teachers has been teaching them in school. and omg!! DORI can scream sharper than me! she screams for nothing, anything and everything! good god! haha, but i had alot of fun swimming with them today.
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RAMLI BURGER, HERE I COME FOR SUPPER
Sunday, November 29, 2009
to you and you
Alot has been happening these days. Well, not so many days la, only for the pass few days. And those that were there for me, thanks alot.
Today, the four of us (ughh, i hate saying the four of us because ITS SUPPOSE TO BE FIVE)!!!, anyways, the four of us went for lunch and bonded, as usual. It was nice having to sit at the kopitiam and chat for a lil again. I was able to let things out i held in my chest. Thank you so much for being there! Like we were saying today, everyone has two faces, so some extend WE ARE ALL THIS WAY! we have to be selfish sometimes to survive. but when it comes to the five of us, we pull each other up together. our two faces are seen all as one. sigh, i have no idea how to put it down to words, but I LOVE YOU FOUR. (c4e).
Dearest Elaine,
lets update you a lil ok? my uncle passed away yest's morning.27-11. (mum's cousin). well, everyone's upset over it. it was quite sudden. i doubt his family is taking it well, his daughter is only 9 years old. sigh, i'm worried for her. My family's having a lil conflict from time to time, (i'll tell you about that over the phone ok, dont wanna blog about it).
Celine and Charmaine's still sitting for SPM and STPM. Celine's worried about her Englsih paper of all papers. she says that she felt as though she was using standard 6's english, that it wasn't up to her standard. oh well, we all have faith in her, so no worries. Her add maths paper was a killer! it was difficult. Two girls CRIED DURING the add math exam! so i guess it was SUPER hard. Charmaine's papers are fine. She said *ok ok la*. haha, its charmaine, she laughs about everything remember. haha. Wye Yee is going to start her intership soon in 8TV. haha, exposure, its a good thing.
OH, DID I TELL YOU THAT I HAVE RED HAIR NOW!!! haha, i like it.
So, Celine finishes exam on the 8th November, and Charmaine finishes on the 10th November. Celine's leaving for her holiday on the 11th November and coming back before christmas i think. We were planning to go down to Singapore in January, if you're free that is. And we were also planning to stay over in a hotel again, Sunway again most probably, but haha, we wanna wait for you and Jon to be free to go. haha, the wanna scream with Jon again. hahaha.
ugh, we all miss you so much. how's things there now?? getting better i hope. Jon should be out already right? its the 29th today!! haha, have fun with him before he goes back in alright.
PS to Jon - MAKE HER HAPPY!!!
come back soon alright, ITS BEEN DIFFERENT AROUND HERE WITHOUT YOU!! and trust me, it sucks!
.
i love you elaine dear.
always,
carmen.
.
Joey Seok,
hehe, feel like writing a lil something to you as well. haha, i had fun today. thanks for being around when i'm down. although we didn't really talk about why i'm down, you managed to ease my mind. I dont know how do it, but i guess you have your ways. Hearing about how you were back in those days, well, i guess it made you the person you are today, and for that, I wouldn't change the pass one bit. i've seen you grow within this two years. Baby, keep growing ok. I'll be around you all the time. You've done amazing things for me, where some others are not able to. Baby, you just make me happy. I'm finally content. and i thank god he sent you to my life. because i cant see one without you in it now. it might sound cliche, but i mean it.
i love you sweetheart.
always
carmen
Today, the four of us (ughh, i hate saying the four of us because ITS SUPPOSE TO BE FIVE)!!!, anyways, the four of us went for lunch and bonded, as usual. It was nice having to sit at the kopitiam and chat for a lil again. I was able to let things out i held in my chest. Thank you so much for being there! Like we were saying today, everyone has two faces, so some extend WE ARE ALL THIS WAY! we have to be selfish sometimes to survive. but when it comes to the five of us, we pull each other up together. our two faces are seen all as one. sigh, i have no idea how to put it down to words, but I LOVE YOU FOUR. (c4e).
Dearest Elaine,
lets update you a lil ok? my uncle passed away yest's morning.27-11. (mum's cousin). well, everyone's upset over it. it was quite sudden. i doubt his family is taking it well, his daughter is only 9 years old. sigh, i'm worried for her. My family's having a lil conflict from time to time, (i'll tell you about that over the phone ok, dont wanna blog about it).
Celine and Charmaine's still sitting for SPM and STPM. Celine's worried about her Englsih paper of all papers. she says that she felt as though she was using standard 6's english, that it wasn't up to her standard. oh well, we all have faith in her, so no worries. Her add maths paper was a killer! it was difficult. Two girls CRIED DURING the add math exam! so i guess it was SUPER hard. Charmaine's papers are fine. She said *ok ok la*. haha, its charmaine, she laughs about everything remember. haha. Wye Yee is going to start her intership soon in 8TV. haha, exposure, its a good thing.
OH, DID I TELL YOU THAT I HAVE RED HAIR NOW!!! haha, i like it.
So, Celine finishes exam on the 8th November, and Charmaine finishes on the 10th November. Celine's leaving for her holiday on the 11th November and coming back before christmas i think. We were planning to go down to Singapore in January, if you're free that is. And we were also planning to stay over in a hotel again, Sunway again most probably, but haha, we wanna wait for you and Jon to be free to go. haha, the wanna scream with Jon again. hahaha.
ugh, we all miss you so much. how's things there now?? getting better i hope. Jon should be out already right? its the 29th today!! haha, have fun with him before he goes back in alright.
PS to Jon - MAKE HER HAPPY!!!
come back soon alright, ITS BEEN DIFFERENT AROUND HERE WITHOUT YOU!! and trust me, it sucks!
.
i love you elaine dear.
always,
carmen.
.
Joey Seok,
hehe, feel like writing a lil something to you as well. haha, i had fun today. thanks for being around when i'm down. although we didn't really talk about why i'm down, you managed to ease my mind. I dont know how do it, but i guess you have your ways. Hearing about how you were back in those days, well, i guess it made you the person you are today, and for that, I wouldn't change the pass one bit. i've seen you grow within this two years. Baby, keep growing ok. I'll be around you all the time. You've done amazing things for me, where some others are not able to. Baby, you just make me happy. I'm finally content. and i thank god he sent you to my life. because i cant see one without you in it now. it might sound cliche, but i mean it.
i love you sweetheart.
always
carmen
Friday, November 27, 2009
We will
My beloved uncle passed away this morning. Although the 3 of us are not very close to him, but my mum is. they're cousins. and my mum feels the loss of a family member. I'm honestly very worried about the other family members because everyone was all close to a certain extend. sigh, he suffered alot before he left, fortunately, we all believe that he's in a safe place now beside god. He's in a place where he doesn't have to feel pain and suffer anymore.
You were a great man Uncle Choong, and we will remember you forever and for always.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
i want ice cream
Lines i've heard before throughout my life, and somehow reminds me of the past.
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*I give up, I just cant please everyone at the same time*
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*Going by the rules, makes everyone else happy. I'm breaking the rules now, and finally i'm happy*
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*Trying to give into everyone at the same time is just gonna make me neglet and eventually hurt myself, I just want to do something for myself in return now. I honestly do not think that I am being unfair*
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Define not caring? Define rules? Define unfair? To what extend can we move on without caring. Telling ourselves not to care is just gonna make us care more. with the fact that we're able to get upset about something, and end up saying things like *i give up*, shows how much it actually means to you. so there again, i ask, to what extend can we not care?
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I remember a friend telling me this back in my highschool days, saying a phase like such (although i dont remember her exact words), and i thought to myself that she's right, sometimes, we just cant please everyone all at once. But as time went on, i've come to realise that not wanting to care for something that we really do care about, messes up our minds big time. learnt that through the hard way.
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On the other hand, there are times were we have to put ourselves first. The world's a bitch, it can be your bet friend for one second and stab you in another. Sometimes, we ourselves have to be the bitch to protect ourselves and our love ones. but like what Franklin said today, as long as you know what you're doing is right thing, i guess its fine. but then again, what is right to one person might not be for another. sheesh, i'm confusing myself now.
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anyways, i've been my happy self again lately. sometimes, i think i have a bipolar disorder and it scares me. haha, but i have my reasons when i'm down. I feel like eating a bucket of ice cream, or cupcakes. *fattening much*. Went for LLS today, did our last journal, which was as crappy as the last one was (all of it are crappy). Suppose to help mum with the house but she decided to go out as well, so i went over to Baby's house and spent sometime with him. Had Wisma's nasi lemak for lunch, which he says it isn't as nice as before. stole some chocolate from his fridge and yes, we made nuggets. ROCK NUGGETS!!! i have no idea how it turned out to be as hard as rocks. stupid nuggets.
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Hey baby,
We went through another rough patch. i think its our 3major rough patch throughout this 2 years huh? but hey, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? I've been through so much with you, and i have proudly say that i know you inside out. but the one thing i am so clear with myself is that, a life without you is just depressing. I'm not trying to be cheesy here, when i say its depressing i mean it. I dont want to make it seem like i have to depend on you, but baby, there's just this part of me that needs you around. (omg, how am i going to survive in UK). I'm not going to say those sweet lines like *your hand fits mine perfectly* *you complete me* and etc, we're got through that stage, and you know all of it already, i just want to say that there are many times you just make me so upset, you make me wanna give up, but the second i think about these things, you'll just do something to make me smile again. sigh, i dont know what to do with you sometimes, but i know i'm loving you more as each day passes. Like i always say to you baby, it takes me 3 seconds to say i love you, but i'll take a lifetime to show it. I do love you.
Joey Seok.
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*I give up, I just cant please everyone at the same time*
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*Going by the rules, makes everyone else happy. I'm breaking the rules now, and finally i'm happy*
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*Trying to give into everyone at the same time is just gonna make me neglet and eventually hurt myself, I just want to do something for myself in return now. I honestly do not think that I am being unfair*
.
Define not caring? Define rules? Define unfair? To what extend can we move on without caring. Telling ourselves not to care is just gonna make us care more. with the fact that we're able to get upset about something, and end up saying things like *i give up*, shows how much it actually means to you. so there again, i ask, to what extend can we not care?
.
I remember a friend telling me this back in my highschool days, saying a phase like such (although i dont remember her exact words), and i thought to myself that she's right, sometimes, we just cant please everyone all at once. But as time went on, i've come to realise that not wanting to care for something that we really do care about, messes up our minds big time. learnt that through the hard way.
.
On the other hand, there are times were we have to put ourselves first. The world's a bitch, it can be your bet friend for one second and stab you in another. Sometimes, we ourselves have to be the bitch to protect ourselves and our love ones. but like what Franklin said today, as long as you know what you're doing is right thing, i guess its fine. but then again, what is right to one person might not be for another. sheesh, i'm confusing myself now.
.
anyways, i've been my happy self again lately. sometimes, i think i have a bipolar disorder and it scares me. haha, but i have my reasons when i'm down. I feel like eating a bucket of ice cream, or cupcakes. *fattening much*. Went for LLS today, did our last journal, which was as crappy as the last one was (all of it are crappy). Suppose to help mum with the house but she decided to go out as well, so i went over to Baby's house and spent sometime with him. Had Wisma's nasi lemak for lunch, which he says it isn't as nice as before. stole some chocolate from his fridge and yes, we made nuggets. ROCK NUGGETS!!! i have no idea how it turned out to be as hard as rocks. stupid nuggets.
.
Hey baby,
We went through another rough patch. i think its our 3major rough patch throughout this 2 years huh? but hey, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? I've been through so much with you, and i have proudly say that i know you inside out. but the one thing i am so clear with myself is that, a life without you is just depressing. I'm not trying to be cheesy here, when i say its depressing i mean it. I dont want to make it seem like i have to depend on you, but baby, there's just this part of me that needs you around. (omg, how am i going to survive in UK). I'm not going to say those sweet lines like *your hand fits mine perfectly* *you complete me* and etc, we're got through that stage, and you know all of it already, i just want to say that there are many times you just make me so upset, you make me wanna give up, but the second i think about these things, you'll just do something to make me smile again. sigh, i dont know what to do with you sometimes, but i know i'm loving you more as each day passes. Like i always say to you baby, it takes me 3 seconds to say i love you, but i'll take a lifetime to show it. I do love you.
Joey Seok.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Come back to M'sia people
ZOE HUAN SU WEN IS BACK IN THIS BURNING COUNTRY!!
HELL YEA..
you're going out next week ok.
Dearest Elaine,
Hey dearie, tlaked to you last night, not for long tho, but i updated you on things here. haha, shocker right? I really wanted to talk for a longer time but arghhh, assignments are piling up so quickly, its is seriously driving me crazy!! like what Janice says, eat assignments, breathe assignments, sleep with assignments, assignment assignment assignment. and beside, i have gourp members who can drive me up the wall at times. oh well, we'll talk again really soon ok? i'm glad to hear that things are getting better there. haha, Celine and Charmaine's having her exams, Wye Yee is gonna sit her for exams soon, and so will I. and =( i'm going off the UK next year. pls come back before i go ok. then i wont be crying alone then. haha, its amazing how we can still read each other's mind over the phone yesterday without me having to say it out in words, despite the distance. haha.
Anyways, sorry i cant make it to singapore this weekend, wye yee's really busy and i know my parents wont let me go alone. sigh, i was really looking forward to it.
I miss you. GET BACK SOON!!!
in decemeber alright. =)
i'll call you soon dear. take care of yourself ok. *hugs*
.
Carmen
HELL YEA..
you're going out next week ok.
Dearest Elaine,
Hey dearie, tlaked to you last night, not for long tho, but i updated you on things here. haha, shocker right? I really wanted to talk for a longer time but arghhh, assignments are piling up so quickly, its is seriously driving me crazy!! like what Janice says, eat assignments, breathe assignments, sleep with assignments, assignment assignment assignment. and beside, i have gourp members who can drive me up the wall at times. oh well, we'll talk again really soon ok? i'm glad to hear that things are getting better there. haha, Celine and Charmaine's having her exams, Wye Yee is gonna sit her for exams soon, and so will I. and =( i'm going off the UK next year. pls come back before i go ok. then i wont be crying alone then. haha, its amazing how we can still read each other's mind over the phone yesterday without me having to say it out in words, despite the distance. haha.
Anyways, sorry i cant make it to singapore this weekend, wye yee's really busy and i know my parents wont let me go alone. sigh, i was really looking forward to it.
I miss you. GET BACK SOON!!!
in decemeber alright. =)
i'll call you soon dear. take care of yourself ok. *hugs*
.
Carmen
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
to be continued
Why do people use the word BOD instead of body.
Why do people use the word HOT instead of beautiful or handsome.
Why do people use the word sexy instead of gorgeous.
Why do people use relate girls to such sexual manner all the time.
we're not sex toys.
Why do people use the word HOT instead of beautiful or handsome.
Why do people use the word sexy instead of gorgeous.
Why do people use relate girls to such sexual manner all the time.
we're not sex toys.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
random lines
why so hyped? come on, it was just a debate. chill a lil la. ohhh wellllll.....
.
People think that being a princess is superficial, that it is about what you wear, and how you look. Well, it is a lil bit about how you look. But, more importantly, it is about what you have to offer the world and who you are inside.
.
I'd read you a book to sleep if it helps you sleep. I'd run my fingers through your hair the whole night if you like. I'd dance around like a clown if it makes you smile. I'd sing to you eventhough i know i have sing to save a life, if you would like me to do so. I'd be all ears if you need someone to talk to. I'd be beside you if you need someone to hug. I'd be Carmen, if you need me in your life. Cause I know i'll always be around.
.
Two is better than one.
.
I AM DONE WITH JOURNAL!!!! *evil laughs*
.
I kind of like the lecturer i have for 112 now. although he's like super boring, and he can put me to sleep. maybe its because i pity him, cause i know he's new and no one respects him. thats the only reason why i kept myself awake and made eye contact with him.
.
ITCHYYYYYYYYY!!!! oh emmmm ggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... stop scratching carmen!!!!! go get ice!
.
People think that being a princess is superficial, that it is about what you wear, and how you look. Well, it is a lil bit about how you look. But, more importantly, it is about what you have to offer the world and who you are inside.
.
I'd read you a book to sleep if it helps you sleep. I'd run my fingers through your hair the whole night if you like. I'd dance around like a clown if it makes you smile. I'd sing to you eventhough i know i have sing to save a life, if you would like me to do so. I'd be all ears if you need someone to talk to. I'd be beside you if you need someone to hug. I'd be Carmen, if you need me in your life. Cause I know i'll always be around.
.
Two is better than one.
.
I AM DONE WITH JOURNAL!!!! *evil laughs*
.
I kind of like the lecturer i have for 112 now. although he's like super boring, and he can put me to sleep. maybe its because i pity him, cause i know he's new and no one respects him. thats the only reason why i kept myself awake and made eye contact with him.
.
ITCHYYYYYYYYY!!!! oh emmmm ggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... stop scratching carmen!!!!! go get ice!
good morning world
I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night,
I'm the one that makes you laugh, when you know you're about to cry,
I know your favourite songs, and you tell me about your dreams,
think i know where you belong, think i know its with me.
Cant you see that i'm the one who understands you,
Been here all along so why cant you see,
You belong with me.
I'll never get bored of this. Anyways, i'm going out for lunch later with Ke Hui, not sure where but yea, we'll think of a place soon.
can someone pls push me to do my stupid journal. what the hell, i'll have to finish it by tonight anyways, its DUE tmr. hahaha, when is it ever not a last minute work. haha, you know one thing i dont understand about students in other program in HELP college, they have no idea what citations and refrencings are. I mean, how can yall not know? how do yall do your assignment and essays then? i'm not saying this to diss anyone else, its just that i REALLY REALLY dont know how students can write a paper now without refrencing. I mean, haven't we reach the stage that it isn't highschool papers anymore? No karangan, No ringkasan and such. Isn't it research papers already now? haha, i'm just curious. How is it that some college doesn't even teach citing. Well, i had a hard time in college learning this, and life in uni now is MUCH EASIER!! and for that, THANK YOU mr. K! I really hated they way he pushed us during college, but thinking back about it now, if it wasn't for him, i'd be suffering now. speaking about citations, OMG, PPL, THERE'S AN EASIER WAY, i'm not teaching yall to take the easy way out or such, when it really saves alot of time!! I of course suggest that you know how to cite with your own brains and know where to underline or put a period or a comma and which comes first or second. and when you excel is doing this YOURSELF! pls save your time, and GOOGLE this, *son of citation*. Its a machine that helps us cite and finish our refrencing. just put all the informtion in, submit, and TADAAA... its all done, then just copy and paste. I have to admit that i use this all the time, i mean come on, we have to write tones and tones of pages in an assignment, it can reach up to 20 pages or more, so i use this to save my time. I dont see anything wrong with it i guess. its not like i'm plagiarising or such.
.
oh well, i need to go brush my teeth now, YES, i just woke up, AND KE HUI's coming over soon. and i have class at 12. =(
sheesh, wonder what we're gonna do in tutor today. hopefully we're playing games today. =)
YAY!! although i have a feeling that we're not. haha.
.
sorry, i just felt like writing in small fonts today. wanna make yall all blind!!!
Monday, November 9, 2009
awww
My grandfather's clock
Was too large for the shelf,
So it stood ninety years on the floor;
It was taller by half
Than the old man himself,
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn
Of the day that he was born,
It was always his treasure and pride;
But it stopped short
Never to go again,
When the old man died.
A girl from public speaking class today commemorated about her late grandfather. She sang this song as an attention grabber. she started crying halfway, and yes, she manage to bring many of us to tears. *i'm sure your grandfather was a great man, and lucky to have you as a granddaughter*. It was one of the best speech I have heard because she managed to connect well with her audience.
Anyways, i wrote my name in chinese CORRECTLY today. haha, thanks to shimron, who has the patience to teach someone like me. haha, and I kinda made alot of noise in class today. and got scolded by my dear ke hui. haha, but i had fun writing things today. haha. i tried writing in cursive today, but guess what, i sucked! i realise that shimron's quite talented in many ways. haha, he amazes me from time to time. (dont kembang mister)!! thanks for the pau!! i will be able to forge your signature one day. watch me! i'll keep the cards we wrote on. haha
I'm watching legally blonde now ppl!
later. =)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
two is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something'
Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing
So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one
I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing'
Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, believing
And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
Oooh I can't live without you'
Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one
Two is better than one.
Realise how it ends. all these while it was only *maybe two is better than one*, and at the end, two IS better than one.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Webster's open house
Thursday, October 29, 2009
its 29th october 2009!
When she stares at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy because she thinks she'sstronger than you, Grab her and don't let go
When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignores you, Give her your attention
When she pulls away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she steals your favourite hoodie, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she says that she loves you, she really does more than you can understand
When she grabs at your hands, Hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think it's stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Don't talk about other girls around her
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:"Whose butt am i kicking baby?"
If only guys will know how to do things like this without having to ask for it. (i have to admit, that some guys still think with theirballs brains) but hey, its only a hand full of people. I have no idea why, but i'm feeling kinda emotional right now. I need a break from everything, i'm feeling really tired lately because of the on-going meetings in college, and the never ending assignments being put at desk.
I was talking to Elaine on the phone that day, and i really miss her so much cause =), there are things i dont even have to say and she knows what i'm thinking about already. I'm seriously planning to go to singapore soon, solely yo see her of course. maybe on the 21st november ok dear? Wont want you to go through your anniversary alone. Wye Yee and I will do your best to make it alright. And pls, lets talk again soon.
Planning to go to Uk next year. sigh thinking about it is making me really worried. results are not satisfiying, the expenses there is going to burn a hole in my dad's wallet! and sigh, the main problem is leaving all this behind. I have to go either way, sooner or later, and i think it will be the best time to learn independence!
Ya know, few of my friends (CSY, KeHui, Wye Yee and more) realise that.. unfortunately, we are already adults. we've reached the stage where puppy love isn't what we're looking for. as CSY always says, Social Cultural theory, states that woman look for guys that have a stable career, good education.. etc, because they have no direct power to the world (economically la).I dont wanan get too much on the theory side, i just know that what we look for in a guy isn't puppy love anymore. it use to be *ohh he's hot, why not go for it* or *lets just gain experiences first*. now the word *future* comes up alot when things are eing considered. the word *support*, *long term*. I guess as we grow, the responsibilities grow as well, and then these grows, sigh, the more we think. Love isn't just a term to represent the status of a relationship. It includes so much more, the feelings, the action.. etc. two doesn't have to be in a relationship to love. well, i guess this is all according to me la. I have no conclusion or whatsoever to what i've been trying to say, i just needed to express a lil out before i explode.
When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy because she thinks she'sstronger than you, Grab her and don't let go
When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignores you, Give her your attention
When she pulls away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she steals your favourite hoodie, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she says that she loves you, she really does more than you can understand
When she grabs at your hands, Hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think it's stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Don't talk about other girls around her
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:"Whose butt am i kicking baby?"
If only guys will know how to do things like this without having to ask for it. (i have to admit, that some guys still think with their
I was talking to Elaine on the phone that day, and i really miss her so much cause =), there are things i dont even have to say and she knows what i'm thinking about already. I'm seriously planning to go to singapore soon, solely yo see her of course. maybe on the 21st november ok dear? Wont want you to go through your anniversary alone. Wye Yee and I will do your best to make it alright. And pls, lets talk again soon.
Planning to go to Uk next year. sigh thinking about it is making me really worried. results are not satisfiying, the expenses there is going to burn a hole in my dad's wallet! and sigh, the main problem is leaving all this behind. I have to go either way, sooner or later, and i think it will be the best time to learn independence!
Ya know, few of my friends (CSY, KeHui, Wye Yee and more) realise that.. unfortunately, we are already adults. we've reached the stage where puppy love isn't what we're looking for. as CSY always says, Social Cultural theory, states that woman look for guys that have a stable career, good education.. etc, because they have no direct power to the world (economically la).I dont wanan get too much on the theory side, i just know that what we look for in a guy isn't puppy love anymore. it use to be *ohh he's hot, why not go for it* or *lets just gain experiences first*. now the word *future* comes up alot when things are eing considered. the word *support*, *long term*. I guess as we grow, the responsibilities grow as well, and then these grows, sigh, the more we think. Love isn't just a term to represent the status of a relationship. It includes so much more, the feelings, the action.. etc. two doesn't have to be in a relationship to love. well, i guess this is all according to me la. I have no conclusion or whatsoever to what i've been trying to say, i just needed to express a lil out before i explode.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Hold me now
Don't... don't close your heart to how you feel
Dream, and don't be afraid the dream's not real
Close your eyes, pretend it's just the two of us again
Make believe this moment's here to stay
Touch... touch me the way you used to do
I know tonight could be all I'll have with you
From now on, you'll be with someone else instead of me
So tonight, let's fill this memory
For the last time -
Hold me now
Don't cry, don't say a word
Just hold me now
And I will know -
Though we're apart,
we'll always be together F
orever in love
What do you say when words are not enough?
Time... time will be kind once we're apart
And your tears... tears will have no place in your heart
I wish I... I could say how much I'll miss you when you're gone
How my love for you will go on and on and
Hold me now
Don't cry, don't say a word
Just hold me now
And try to understand that
I hope at last you've found
What you've been searchin' for
And though I won't be there anymore
I will always love you
(Hold me now)
(Don't cry,) don't say a word
Just hold me now
And I will know -
Though we're apart, we'll always be together
Forever in love
What do you say when words are not enough?
What can I say When my words are not enough
so random, so not funny
its Wednesday today...
- Its raining
- It'll be a wonderful time to sleep and snuggle in somebody's arms
- I will be missing ballet again tonight
- I foresee Miss Mak killing me
- I missed tutor today because we didn't see a point in attending
- I could have gone to the gym if i know there isn't anything that was going to happen during tutor, and i could have worked out!!!
- I'm feeling super sleepy now
- Oh yea, not forgetting to mention, I'M ALL WET NOW BECAUSE I WAS WALKING IN THE RAIN! again. I'm going to fall sick soon, watch me.
- Pray for me ppl!
-
i want ice cream!
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